Another Day in a Salesman's life!

Everyone smiled at each other as they watched the figures on the board. The targets looked next to impossible. People in the front row had to maintain a serious face in order to not get caught disapproving the targets.

Why are those back benchers laughing? Asked the tea boy…

“I think they might have cracked a joke” said the office boy

As the tea boy entered

“You think this is fucking funny” shouted the person standing by the board…

The room had a pin drop silence excepting the sound made by the tea cups being placed on the seats

You have no courtesy or dignity towards achieving these numbers and you think you are here to giggle about them? shouted the Location Manager at Joe(one of the sales executives)...

“No Sir…” said Joe rising from his chair

“Why were you giggling?”

“Nothing Sir we were just….”

“Just what…sharing a joke….we keep doing social service by delivering only 50% and when I am here to instill some seriousness you are giggling”

“Sir…”

“People like you are being made to sit in AC rooms and being served a tea so that you can laugh at our targets”

Now even the tea boy understood that something was seriously wrong with this tea interference and stood as if he required the big man’s approval to serve tea.

With no obvious signals, the tea boy did not serve the tea to Joe and left the room in fear.

Joe stood there answering the Location Manager for the next 10 minutes, obviously on his last month figures, while the rest silently sipped on their tea…

After the meeting was over there was a murmur in the office about the way Joe got cornered and people were poking fun at him. I watched him closely and could make out that while he was trying his best to show no emotions, he did look a little shaken.

Slowly he excused himself out of the crowd and took a walk…I saw him cross the street and buy a smoke…I don’t know why I did it but I walked across the street and ordered tea from that very shop. He could make out that I was watching him all this while in office and greeted me with a sheepish smile.

I broke the silence “So what happened there”

“Nothing sir, the usual targets and numbers”

“Ok…how is it (numbers) looking like?”

“Bad…last two months I made some incentive but looks like this month onwards I won’t”

“You can work a little harder” I suggested

“Yeah I don’t know how to do it” he said as if he resigned about it…

"I have just recently brought this” he said, showing me a blackberry handset…”I don’t know how I will pay its installment for this month” he said

“How much did it cost?”

“Eleven thousand, I took it in 6 months emi scheme sir…”

“Ok you seem to be tech-savvy” I smiled at him

“No sir actually I brought it for my dad, this weekend I will go home and give it to him, my dad still uses the old torch wala nokia” he said with a lot of pride, I could see how much it meant for him to give the phone as a surprise to his father

“How old are you” I asked

“I am 29 now” he said

“You married or still an eligible bachelor” I asked

“Ha-ha no sir…there is a lot of time for that” he said as if 29 was too young

“Sir, are you too in sales?” Joe asked breaking his curiosity to understand who I was

“Well I work out of the head office in Analytics” I said…

“I also wanted to get into some IT kind of profile but now they will not accept me…they say I am too old” he said

“Well you seem to be doing a good job...You got a blackberry and all” I said

“No sir…of late it has become very difficult…am in this profile for more than 3 years now and I am vexed of it…there is no growth”

“But have you discussed this with your location head…”

“Our previous RM sir used to like me a lot…I have done good numbers under him, he used to say he will try for my promotion but now he is gone and my numbers also dropped these days” said Joe

I smiled….ok so if you don’t mind can I ask you something…

“How much do you earn” I asked

“I earn 22000 per month ‎15000 I send home

Rent plus other expenses 4000

I manage in 3000 including petrol...



I could not understand what he meant by managing in 3000 rupees. In current day scenario that’s next to impossible



“Then why do you smoke, aren't you wasting money”...I asked



ab theek hain...(Sigh)...he smiled!



He thought he smiled but i only saw a twinkle in his eye. I now understood why he could not marry or why he could not afford paying this month’s EMI…I felt extremely bad for him…

“Sir, Shall we have lunch?” he asked

I nodded and we left to the office cafeteria together

I was completely occupied with Joe’s financial struggle while I was picking my rations…How does a guy who should have been married by now live happily by sending home 3/4th of his salary and feed himself on peanuts and willpower!

I sat with him and I could observe that he was still sad by the thrashing he received in the conference hall

“Sir, if performance is not meeting expectations in next 3 months will they ask us to leave” he asked as if I had the answer for that

“Well…………………….i don’t know but it’s the business’s call” I said, obviously, unprepared for such question

He looked confused and very concerned as if he wanted me to decipher it for him

“If you really don’t meet their expectations they could” I said to confirm the possibilities

“OK” he said with a smile and bent his head to focus upon the food

He was struggling with his food and I could see that…

“You are not eating” I asked

“I will sir, but I was just thinking what will happen………….”and he could not complete that line….There were tears flowing down his cheek… he could not even chew the food properly, there was just too much emotion all of a sudden

I did not know what happened, It felt weird in my stomach…may be I had tears too but then I firmly commanded “Go to the restroom; wash your face and comeback...just go”

He obeyed me and hid his face in his kerchief while he rushed to the washroom. He was back after a couple of minutes. His eyes were red and face looked swollen…he was looking uncontrollable…

“You know….” I started trying to catch his attention

“Rest room is such a great place…………men who faced difficulties in life mostly cried in the restrooms…but then you also need to gather yourself to face the world outside it and probably that’s why they often say you need a short recess once in a while. You can always take a short break, think of people you love the most and gather your strength, and do things that you were, otherwise, hesitant to do”

Joe listened to me as if I were making sense to him,

“If you have really gathered yourself in that restroom I would like to tell you how I want you to perform and how you could grow if you would not mind working with me for another 6 months…probably I would love to see you having an i-phone this time” I said with a smile

“Sir, am not understanding..who are you” he asked

“I am the new Regional Manager, nice meeting you Joe!”



JPR$

A Day in a Salesman’s Life

A sudden halt by my driver, took my eyes off the laptop and we stopped near a mall where the home guards were blocking traffic so that few vehicles make their way out of their building. Meanwhile there was this guy, dressed in blue shirt and black pant wearing a tie on a hot summer day, with many brochures and boxes in hand, running towards the traffic jam from inside the mall. I don’t know how but he sensed that I was observing him, and immediately began sprinting towards me. I was about to gesture him that I had no time for it but he flashed the bright blue tie inside the box indicating that I could carry one by giving him a listening. I opened the window to give him a chance

“Sir…Platinum card for shopping across lifestyle and other related stores…lifetime free and you can take the tie as well” He said while catching his breath 

I knew it was the 25^th of a month and it’s a month end push

“Am really sorry but I have too many cards” I said

“Sir, it’s absolutely free and you can use it as any other utility card” he said and before he continued

“rey aravind…concall twaraga raa (Come soon there is a con call)” a voice interrupted…

Another guy wearing a similar uniform tried rushing this “Sale-in-process” Aravind.

“Yeah like I said you can use it as an extra card……………and…………………..” he was not convinced by his flow…probably the mention of concall caught his attention…

“Ok sir…I need to go Thank you…” he said and there were a few extended seconds of eye contact from aravind, before he turned off his head to face the oblivion called as the SALES CONCALL…

“Whom are we waiting for” Siva asked…

“Some customer in this building …he is coming with documents” I said

“Tea” Siva asked

“Cant you see am filling this form…………………….. I asked you to bring your bike and you always come by bus…how the hell am I supposed to fill so many forms on a month end, am going to be late today also” I said…

For sales guys a motor cycle happens to be their worktable…it’s their means of transport, logistics, workstation, what not…

“Sorry ra but there is no petrol…I am waiting for the salary…I have to survive in 500 for next 3 days” siva said…

“Make it 4…Salary comes on 31^st and today is 26^th” I said

“31^st is Sunday, it will be on 30^th only” he argued…and he suddenly put his arm around my shoulder and began tapping it as if to show me something…

I picked my head to notice a very beautiful girl who was just exiting the building we were waiting at…

She was fair, perfectly elegant, had a friendly and pleasant face and looked a traditional type. 
She walked outside the building and was crossing the road towards the side of the road we were on…probably headed towards the bus stop beside us.

“My mother’s choice would have been like this” siva said…

“Yeah right…probably you wouldn’t have been her mother’s choice” I sneered…Siva took a slight offence to my comment and I could sense that…

“As in, the kind of jobs we are in” I continued as if it weren’t about his fat and bald looks anyway

“But are you supposed to have a background to fall in love with Beautiful girls” he asked innocently…

“That’s a million dollar question…who says no…” I said

Just then something happened, the lady actually, as if she heard our conversation, gave us a stare and to be very honest she stared at me…

“Lucky idiot she is staring at you” siva said

“Oh come on…may be she just heard our conversation” I said trying to play it down…but I also kind of felt it.

“No dude she stared at you…I know” siva said

And immediately as if to justify his findings she stared at me again and this time I felt a little assured of the findings…She continued the stare a little longer than expected and now I began feeling a sudden rush of blood and I was definitely not stable…

“I told you, she is staring at you” Siva declared after her current stare

“Dunno man but I would love to have such a girl, at least as a friend” I almost lost my fake composure while making this statement, awkwardness I thought.

“You know what…these opportunities don’t come again…just go and say hi to her” siva said

As soon as he finished saying those words I felt as if I was hit by a thunder, not because I cannot do it but because I was somewhere considering it…

“Are you mad…can anyone say hi to a girl just coz she stared at you” I retorted expecting an encouraging statement from my friend

“There she goes…she is clearly staring at you and now this is obvious…if you have guts go and say a hi, I will fill your forms” siva said

Filling forms is the last thing I am thinking about here, but how can I do it…what kind of a public embarrassment is this, I thought…

”what if she ignores” I asked

Siva immediately raised the pitch in his voice, sensing the fact that am considering it

“if she ignores you just forget it…but if she retorts………………rey she is worth a try ra…………………………….she is in a bus stop and that bloody bus can come in any moment” he preached while expressing through his bloated face

“Who knows if this hi can change the course of your life” siva continued…

He said it………………he uttered the lines required to fill my back with a propellant to do the needful…

I cursed the situation but my heart was pounding now with excitement…I was breathing very hard and I was rehearsing saying a hi…just then siva shouted “rey mama”

We observed a bus that was 200 meters away, pulling into the bus stop and somehow even the girl was staring frequently at our animated behavior as if she was expecting a quick output from us rather me…

I declared to siva ”I cant do it so quickly dude…let her go…forget it” I said as the bus halted at the station

“Waste fellow…if I were you I would have never left this opportunity” he said and I sulked…

However something curious happened here…the bus had just left the bus stop and we could notice that my dream girl was still here (bus stop), standing at the same spot and has just completed giving me a stare…

Now it was Siva’s turn to stare at me “you doing it or shall I shout at you in public” he threatened….

“Can anything be more coincidental…the bus is gone…she is still there…do it you fool” he cried

“Ok fine fine”…I said and I rehearsed it for one last time…. I began walking towards her and the very clever girl has finally realized that I got the trigger…but somehow she was no longer staring at me as if she didn’t bear any fault in this “hide and seek” that was taking place in the last 5 minutes…

I was about to reach my angel and just then my mobile began vibrating…

I obviously cannot say hi to a beautiful girl with a hole bring drilled in my pocket and I immediately picked it up to finish it off…

“Hello…” I said

“Yeah this is vinod here…are you the guy in blue shirt at the bus stop” the person asked…………………..…he was my customer for whom I was waiting all this while…I just turned around to find him standing behind me with a couple of documents in his hand…

Oh god…all the inner strength I conjured for this moment was supposed to be interrupted this way, I thought.

 The customer began loudly “Take the documents boss ……………..…See I need this account activated in 3 days else I will cancel my request…I don’t need fake promises” he said…

I was devastated…I donno if I heard him clearly but am sure that the angel standing behind me heard clearly and now she knows who I am…

“Ok sire…there wont be any such problems…we will take care” I said in an almost inaudible tone…

“Can you give us any references sir” siva asked…I was now upset because this is delaying my tiny sweet act…

The customer began smiling….”Ah let me see……….well……………..yes one second” he said looking over my shoulder….”Hey Archana just come here …he called”…

I turned around to see that it’s the same girl and to my horror she was walking towards us...I never wanted to hurt anyone but I really wanted to hurt Siva very badly for asking a reference that day….

“Hi Vinod…em chestunnaru (What you upto)” she said…

“These guys are asking for references…it’s a bank account ..Its good, they give an “all atm free” debit card” he said…

I just kept looking at the customer and I acted as if I refused to acknowledge her presence over there…

“Oh really…all atm access is free” she asked, to which siva nodded his head…she asked a couple of other questions as well to which only siva responded….however the best was coming

“OK anna I too want to open this account” she said…

I felt like the organs inside were flushed out deep into the earth while siva stared at me in horror…The dreamgirl( a little while ago) has now called me anna and has jumped to become my sister. She has asked me for that dirty application form which ruined my life’s biggest quest 
…I felt like I was being repeatedly crushed under some boulder…

“Siva can you handle this, I have a call” I said to which an understanding siva obliged…

I never turned my head again to look at her and I could see things getting blurred owing to my eyes turning moist but looks like I can’t even have these moments in solitude. My phone began ringing again…I checked it and it was a new message that just dropped in…

It read “Concall in 5 mins, be ready with leads & login scores”

Sir this traffic isn’t moving here at all…shall I take another route...my driver asked…

I dunno when I fell asleep during these few minutes…”No no lets wait for 5 more minutes” I said

I opened my window and I could see that Mr. Aravind has just moved into the building and was trying to connect his phone…I waved my hand across to a security guard near by and gestured to call aravind…

Aravind came down running to me…”Yes sir…”

“This is my card…give me a call in sometime and tell me what documents I should give tomorrow” I said

His expression totally changed…he could not understand the chemistry of my decision making but he surely  was at loss of words before he finally said…yes sir I will call you… An event that occurred 7 years ago is still fresh enough to help me empathize with my fellow salesmen.

I gave him my details just in time when the traffic cleared………….I know am just a lead for him but a good enough lead to save his evening from a concall…A feeling of nostalgia and content engulfed me…such are the days of a salesman. A little bit of Shamelessness, Creativity, Hunger and lots of insult to face in our daily lives.

JPRS

6^th May 2012

Do we need a Woman's Day

When I began typing the first few lines I had nearly deleted each line at least 5 times in trying to rephrase; Such is the voltage of this topic and one is got to be careful :P

I had asked few ladies & women “Why do we need a woman’s day?” There were 5 different kinds of answers I got and I am pasting them without mentioning who all gave it

Responses:

1. I think you are a male chauvinist

2. It’s a message that things are changing and its for good

3. I too don’t understand why we need it

4. It must be these marketing people’s trick

5. Kya farak padta hain…just wish and forget

Why, actually, do we need a woman’s day…we have valentine’s day, mother’s day, father’s day, AIDS day and so on and so forth…most of them are based on love and some of them are based on causes like Aids and cancer…So, in terms of sending message across or making your loved ones happy these causes make sense!

But woman’s day sounds groupist if not racist…it’s like celebrating the identity…doesn’t sound very convincing :P…before some of you are ready to pounce with punches upon me, I want to explain that this is what one can see with a naked eye... When we talk about woman’s day there are three sects of people reacting to it

Ø One who took it as a sarcastic joke

Ø One who are not bothered

Ø One who are very vocal and chauvinistic about it

For those who took it as a joke

Lets imagine…

You might have heard some elderly women in your own family saying how I wish my lovely daughter/daughter-in-law has a baby boy, well I heard this a lot of times in my household and once I tried arguing with an old lady in my family over this, but owing to her age I could not argue for long. One thing I could understand was that she didn’t have a chance to opine since her childhood. She is purely influenced as far as her mindset or thought process was concerned and you could blame it on the people who did that to her under the shadow of traditional values.

We have heard about female foeticides and all. It is the heights of gender discrimination and a shameful reality rampant in the hinterlands of our country. One cannot even understand how the mother is willing for that or how she was made to agree to that.

Dowry, a phenomenon that has been reduced as far as colloquial dictionary is concerned but still a major cause for marriage failures.

So like they say in our marketing lessons that “Rural india has a lot of potential”; An India with rural mindset has these problems which are waiting to be tackled and solved.

For those who are not bothered

Woman’s day as a cause couldn’t appeal or create any influence on you…fair enough

Let me ask you a question

Which avatar of an Indian woman you appreciate the most

The classic lakshmi who is responsible and sensible, neatly dressed, well mannered and also softspoken. A symbol that every household is proud of and wants to respect the woman for the values she means to them.

or

The modern sweta who likes to hang out late, spend too much time on mobile...partying hard and who doesn’t mind a smoke while being very social and open as far as attitude is concerned.

or

You need a customization option…

Well if you are a guy & chose the third one, I believe, there is a male chauvinist somewhere inside. Not for being choosy but somewhere you may prescribe her a certain behavior more often than not

I spoke to a lady who told me that it doesn’t bother her at all as she doesn’t understand the concept of Woman’s day. It sounds unconvincing to her

But when asked to choose between these avatars she said “i like any woman who does not have double standards

Ø A smoking woman who does not stare at other smoking women

Ø A traditional girl who does not secretly crave to smoke”

For those who are vocal about it

Its good to celebrate the identity…but unfortunately the ones celebrating could sometimes be the wrong ones…We see the city girls who have been well educated, with a decently good upbringing being more happy about this.

Probably many of us would agree that this is a male dominated society and a lot more can be done in trying to help the women but first let us support the ones who are suppressed and they are probably not around us.

If we see “woman’s day” more as a cause than an identity celebration we all can question ourselves “Have I done anything to help the suppressed women of my country” The answers are with us. Some of them may ask “How can we help”

One angle is education…if we work on supporting education related moves it helps the coming generations by providing them a tool to opine…That would definitely rein in a lot of betterment in the future generations as far as gender equality is concerned…There can be many other angles in which this situation can be tackled…so we can use Woman’s day as a day to ponder and ideate on how we could help!

“ Woman’s day” is a cause that goes beyond the women in trying to help the deprived, suppressed and helpless beings who have been victims to rituals and mindsets. It is also about fighting the double standards in both men and women for the social upliftment of mindsets and also to create equality & dignity in their respective limitations”

It is definitely not about a PONDS or VIVEL throwing Katrinas and Deepikas to wish you a feministic Woman’s day Isn’t it?

PS: I thank all my friends who contributed for compiling this thought process.

JPR$

09 March 2011

MIND SPOTS SUNSHINE

Prologue:

Normally I finish the article first and then think of giving it a title…no guesses that this is the most logical way to do it but today somehow I liked these set of words mentioned as the title above, which I accidentally came up with and, conversely, I wanted to create an article in order to justify my title. May sound strange, but wish me best luck.

February 17th 2008 Hyderabad
Conference Room
Hotel Ohris (Basheerbagh)

I was speechless at that point and felt like a dead duck with no answer at all to the bunch of questions they posed, all of them (questions) testing my very purpose of why I need an MBA?
I took a 10 second pause and we all know what a 10 second pause literally means in a B-school interview. But the 10 second break worked. Just before the interviewers thought I had no answer at all and were proceeding to the next one I uttered the following words
“When I come to the Great lakes, a place where each student comes from a diverse background and has a lot of work experience to share with, which forms the very crux of your learning curriculum and to add to it the thoroughly designed PGPM which gives me an understanding of various business aspects like Finance, Marketing, HR & Operations which are like pillars of a business and give me a thorough understanding of how a business works from end to end. After undergoing this kind of learning, tomorrow, I have a complete understanding of what is happening around me in an organization and when I have such understanding it gives me confidence. And it is this confidence which finally powers me towards putting in those extra efforts and achieving sizeable successes.”

I couldn’t believe I said all this. It was an answer which I did not completely prepare for. To add to it was my tone which was simply perfect. And the interviewers too were all smiles and they stopped asking me Why MBA after this reply. After that what followed was a confident interview for another 10 minutes with firm handshakes in the end.

I climbed down the steps and started walking towards the parking lot with extreme confidence. With 30 months of work ex across the business development departments of an Automobile Giant and a minnow IT startup, I felt like it was my day and I have made it. Though I had given the GD-PI for IMT Ghaziabad I was pretty sure of being rejected owing to tougher competition, so GreatLakes was my best chance and something today just kept telling me that I was in and I have crossed the final frontier. With one deep breath I gained control over my overjoyed emotions and started driving to proceed for lunch.

March 5th 2008

As time passes you slowly start losing the confidence on great efforts too. On February 17th I was beaming with confidence as soon as I came out of the Interview Hall but today I am as scared as the worst performer would have been. The admissions department of Great Lakes told that the results were due yesterday viz on March 4th but somehow they did not appear. I checked the site repeatedly in the night till 2 and participated in those ever active cribbing Pagalguy.com before I fell asleep.

Last year I scored 98 percentile and felt equally confident about my NITIE interview but I had only disappointment to face. And the delay in announcing the results is making it scarier for me. Its already 1 in the noon and there is no response on the phone from the admissions department. I proceeded to lunch as I could not afford more delay.

Already I have been left behind in the race to B-schools amongst my Engineering classmates. The guys with whom I used to benchmark have made it to FMS, IIM, MDI, NITIE etc and here I am praying to get into GreatLakes, I thought while standing in the queue for the lunch buffet.
I can’t imagine the disappointment of my parents, who got involved too in my quest for MBA degree, if I don’t make it. I was filled with anxiety and nervousness that I was hardly able to eat my lunch when my phone buzzed and it was a call from a companion who too attended GreatLakes GD-PI. I knew that it was coming and with no further delay I answered it.

“Did you see the list?” he asked...
“No..are the results out” I asked
“Yeah I got waitlisted” he said
“Ohh…is my name there “ I continued “Hall ticket no. XXXXXXXXXX” I asked
30 seconds later
“Sorry dude I cannot find your name” he said.
My heart sank…I could no more eat my lunch...I went to the computer and checked the waiting bad news…I also checked the Pagalguy forums where hopeful & disappointed candidates like me were posting funny messages but I smiled with pain. Just then my boss called me for a meeting and trust me I could barely move my feet or lips in the meeting.

March 12th, 2008

Morning

Today the waitlist of Great lakes came up and to my dismay I don’t find my name yet again. The pain continues to haunt me. Six days ago the results were announced in which I could not find my name. This takes me back to the scenario I was facing last year where I had calls but ended up with no conversions. It looks as if last year’s pain had taken a temporary break and is back haunting me.

Evening

I check up with Great Lakes Admissions office and the news is that there will be no more wait lists as most of the candidates in the first list have taken up candidature. By now I was actually expecting it and I began thinking of the worst situation. Either I should enter KJ Somaiya or I should take up a job with Infosys that was offering me around 7 lacs.
I spoke to my closest pals phani and pavan, both empathized with me while trying their best to instill strength in me. When I spoke about KJ Somaiya they probably hid their disagreement because they didn’t want to suggest me another crack at CAT. Phani went a step ahead and told me that if I am good I will sell from anywhere and I better not drop my MBA plans if I make it to KJ Somaiya. I spoke to many people around me who didn’t find the same impressive enough. But I just didn’t want to end my MBA dreams this way and in order to stay positive I visited the website of KJ Somaiya and clicked their placements link.

March 20th,2008 Bangalore

I have just finished my GD-PI of KJ Somaiya and have felt very good about it. One reason possibly is because of the low percentiles of the candidates around me and secondly because I was very confident and sensible through out the process. I was really feeling confident that I will be at least in the first two waitlists and since KJ Som would be rejected by many candidates I could stand a better chance.
It was during lunch when I felt bad for myself…after 4 years of dedication to CAT here I am consoling myself to be in the waitlist of a college that I earlier didn’t plan for. But destiny decides right, if my efforts were lacking then I deserve this!

March 29th, 2008 Hyderabad
11:00 PM

After long while I had some good time with Shashank and Gowtham. I am done with my MBA campaign for the year 2008, whether I make it or not or if I need to take another crack at it doesn’t matter as of now as it’s too early to decide on anything. Thus, we had a nice get together and for some time I forgot all the pain. I enjoyed the dinner and had a quick ride home.
Once home I sat on my computer to check mails and as a usual practice I opened pagalguy.com. Something caught my attention then…there were too many IMT’s in the left panel clearly reflecting that for some reason IMT is all across the news today…and its very obvious for what reason it was. There was no need to guess as I typed

www.imt.edu and clicked on the admissions

It asked me to enter my CAT TR No and date of birth. I prayed god and with a deep breath I clicked submit and it returned

“Congratulations! You have been selected for PGDM-FT program. Fee details will follow”

April 15th, 2010 Hyderabad

I had been selected to KJ Somaiya’s flagship program too.


Epilogue: It’s been around 6 months since I passed out from that great institute. I had a great time during my MBA and it was the place where I met many firsts in my life.

IMT was sunshine for me.

JPRS

Mercy Madam Mercy!

She is in her 40's but she looks as if she is a 60 year old...half because of her unruly Grey hair and half because of the way she bends while she walks ...She has a monotonous way of talking where one could easily get lost into the day dreams. Insomniacs too enjoyed her class since they could sleep under her purview, sure about her arrested gaze

Today, she looked worse! Obviously it was a disappointing day for her since the entire class has performed poorly in her subject (Social Sciences)…She has probably received a sound thrashing from the principal which explains the lack of smile or the absence of a humane look on her face.

At that moment Aditya chose to enter the class, delayed due to a long queue( you know where), after the short recess we were usually given before this class…

The teacher gave a scornful look…she walked to the wrong side of the blackboard to pick a old looking wooden scale and stood in the middle of the passage created by the two divisions of benches like an executioner. Aditya’s face turned yellow as he anticipated the worst moment impending on him…he began taking slow steps, not able to believe the utter silence that has taken control in the room, trying to make eye contact with rest of the students to get a telepathic understanding of what has gone wrong …

How can Madam Padma who was considered such a friendly teacher turn evil today and set herself to thrash her favorite student Aditya. Aditya disbelievingly stretched his arm slowly and hadn’t yet unfolded his palm when Madam Padma raised her hand to signal the imminent slash, all this happening amidst the pin drop silence and a bunch of scared teenagers watching the scene in anticipation & horror.

Whackkkkkkk…Whackkkk…Whackkkk….three shots in a span of little less than 5 seconds and one felt sorry to see aditya waving his hand in pain and holding it with his left hand to give comfort to it. His face was red and one could see twinkle in his eyes. Few minutes ago he was cracking funny jokes and now here he is, about to breakdown, in front of his whole class staring at his agony like a stage performance…

Just then to his horror the unforgiving teacher uttered “Aggain…”

“Show me your hand come on” she thundered…

Aditya sported a sympathetic face and this time stretched his left arm (pain sharing technique) and opened his palm with heightened fear. This time to every one’s horror the teacher lifted the stick very far into the air indicating that this is going to be a big one…the room was filled with nerve breaking tension and the shot finally came off…

Aditya couldn’t take it any more and just before the stick had to make contact with his hand…he slightly moved the hand away from the stick and this led to a wasted shot and embarrassment for the teacher…Embarassment because the shot landed on a table making a funny noise and a couple of us sitting in the last bench couldn’t resist the chuckle looking at this funny occurrence…

But only after we chuckled did we realize that the rest of the class didn’t find it funny which meant the teacher’s attention is diverted now…To escape suspicion and make the job easy for the teacher every one turned their heads and stared at us to give enough hint to the teacher about the culprits…Both Raghu and I were being sacrificed at the heat of this moment to goddess padma for our act of innocence; but more innocence was to follow. Raghu avoided eye contact with the teacher and began staring at me as if it was I who did it while I was submissively staring into the teacher’s man-eater eyes & preparing my ill-fated hands to be the next victim.

“What is your score” She asked

“85 I mumbled”. Yeah I was the topper this time and probably one of those few students whom she could point to save herself from the principal

But it didn’t impress her

“So getting more marks means you can laugh at people’s misery” she said

“Mam” (stunned at her words)

“Show me your hand you shameless creature” She said

I could now see students silently giggling at me as an undeserving punishment couldn’t get funnier.

Saddened and embarrassed I stretched out my arm and closed my eyes waiting for that deadly moment when a touch of timber would kill some skin cells of mine leaving a temporary color on my hand before I felt fresh breeze passing over my forehead and the sound of tiny droplets hitting my windowpane…Slowly the noise grew loud enough, to wake me up, to show me the morning rain that had just begun with mild thunders accompanied by black clouds that looked menacingly deep. It was hardly 7:15 am but it looked as if its still 6 in the morning and the breeze in deccan’s lovely city Hyderabad just got stronger to rip off clothes of their hangers, blow off the broken ceilings and shake the tall trees as if they were dancing to nature’s music.

Mom was watching me all this time and she asked me

“emaindi peedakala” (Was that a bad dream)

“em ledu (nothing)” I replied with a smile filled with nostalgia

Lovely old days I thought and got down to pick my coffee…

The New World Order!

Sometimes we really long to write…not that our fingers are itching but it is just one of those days when our thoughts are in a song and they drag us to the keyboard compelling one to begin with some random stuff before they get streamlined to carve a fine narration…Yes a fine narration would do well to complete the quest of my thoughts…So I am writing again to just reflect upon some common happenings in an MBA’s life…

Rule 1: In a group discussion of 10 people if there is only one girl she becomes the differentiating factor.

Rule 2: In a group discussion of 10 people if you are the only guy, then the 9 girls comprise the differentiating factor unless you are a male chauvinist ready to raise your voice!

On a particularly weird Placement Day a student finally breaks the rules and dares to do something that the entire college would look, hear and talk in awe…He promptly goes to the Placement Process room where the HR managers are seated and gathers all his wit, amidst the agony, to ask a question that most guys wanted to ask owing to a perplexing vertigo caused by a blinding judgment (Delivered), that would be struck off as Jealousy if expressed, for over a decade and a half now.

“Where did I go wrong to lose a chance over her in the process?” he asked (Shamelessly)

The HR managers were stoned…

While they were expecting a Pizza and refreshments after a tiresome process, a question like this would be the last thing they were prepared for…Of course they washed their hands in anticipation; not the thoughts to provide a pristine response.

Still a HR manager smiled courteously and said… “We respect your frankness…Excuse me what is your name”

“Hari”

“Yes Hari...We respect your honesty and braveness but that lady happened to be the initiator of the discussion and a team player too…Didn’t you see the whole team agreeing with her” said the manager

“Sir…but the topic was How well is the Indian Cricket Team armed to take on Australia and she started off by drawing parallels between the muscularly strong players of both teams…wasn’t it to be discussed on the strengths and weaknesses of a team as a unit…In the entire discussion I was only trying to do that..”

“Buddy... (Sigh of impatience) ...she had the entire group stuck to her point and you had to move on from there...you could not convince the group…she did it” the manager declared.

‘Well what can you do if an entire group can be so lost in just being loud than sensible....’ he thought… “Thank You Sirs” He greeted and walked to open the knob of the door beyond which a world (Placecom) is waiting for him to dictate a new world order.

The HR managers however were proud of being magnanimous and were rightfully presented with a Pizza lunch.

The student was debarred by his placecom and sub consciously abandoned by some of his friends. Sometimes the cool dudes did bother to hi5 him coz his act of dare or sacrifice was a freaking cool thing while his good friends forever wondered what would be his mood like...

The spring had arrived and it was the time for convocation. All the students yelled and cried for one last time and slowly left to their respective destinies…In those fading days of a batch an email jumped into the Institute Director’s account which read like this:

Dear Sir,

Today I want to share a feeling that had been bothering me for a while now…Kindly let me know your response

I believe that an Organization excels if it had women working in Sales & Marketing while the Men did it in the Human Resources? The explanation goes on below

The Customers if Men, would be very much interested to spend time understanding a Product or a Service from a beautiful woman than an illustrious male...no wonder why presentations click with women and why the phone calls get extended and most of the times the deal is a success too.

Now you may ask me what if the customers are women…Well women are still not at the helm of decision making, and even if they were if you think that a very good looking male salesman is going to do the trick then its sheer bullshit. It rarely works that way. If only the safety aspects are taken care, I can go on record to say that women make better salesmen than men.

Now coming to my claim of Men making it big at Human Resources...Every organization survives on sales and in simple words they need better salesmen to sustain...

So we all know what most of the men are good at…Yes you are right...We can tap this god given talent of men and use our mediocre sense in choosing promising Sales Women. Needless to say, married men are good listeners to people whining at them. Trust me; they make far better HR managers than women.

I solemnly urge you to give a serious reading and let me know your candid response.

Hari

Ten days later a mail appeared into Hari’s account...It read

“:-D”

The Director

XYZ Institute

Disclaimer: I am not here to undermine the talent or efforts of young ladies...I am only reflecting on the feelings of some stunned guys who could never understand the nuances.

Ravi Shanker

What Chakravyuh meant on December 10th, 2009

Pretext

God: What did we (the gods) do to make the spring colorful?

Student 1: The nature unleashes a new born energy

Student 2: Everything around blooms to life

Student 3: I think all these compliment ‘the mighty Chakravyuh’ that happens every spring…

God: Who is that???

God: 08FT-0XX…

God: 08FT-0XX………………..

Student 3:uhhh ohhhh …….(Just wakes up from his sleep and realizes that he forgot answering the roll call in the lecture)

Phew! Talk of daydreamers (insomniacs?)

What Chakravyuh meant on December 10^th to Junta in IMT

For Non-IMT junta: Chakravyuh is a non-stop 72 hours Sports festival of IMT and is the biggest festival of IMT both in terms of participation and magnitude. The preparations, deliberations & the intensity witnessed in the tournament makes it a spectacle indeed!!! So with this we shall proceed to the blog now…

December 10th 2009

Time: 9:30 PM (A time when the busiest managers of IMT indulge in gossip)

Place: The Parking stand outside mess

“Ohh lord the Chakravyuh is here…have you seen the teaser, I think the mascot is a boar..” said Onlooker 1

“I don’t think it’s a boar, it is a standing tiger… I mean a tiger standing on its hind legs” Onlooker 2

Yeah people were busy understanding the teasers and the publicity messages but the launch in December, though too early, created ripples among sections of IMT.

Now who are these sections…The sections that took it seriously were the following

1. Farmers

2. Crammers

3. Achievers

Farmers

The farmers believed in a single crop or girl and they invested their faith, time, ego, money & hope into a single chick or at times two and a half chicks. They had two simple rules

Rule 1: The Chick is right

Rule 2: If not read ‘Rule 1’ 20 times

December 10th

Now the chakravyuh was like the lohri/sankranti for these farmers (its harvest time) so one had to be extremely careful with the further steps taken. They had two plans

Plan A (to be executed if the chick likes to play)

Jog with her, encourage her by participating in the sport she plays and try teaching her a move or two if you can do that. Encourage her to work out and prepare a time table that’s optimal for the chick. (Minors in Operations preferred)

Plan B (If she doesn’t like to play)

Make travel plans for the 3 day holiday, sports suck and a ego massaging session isn’t a bad idea…Give her company and double the care, since she loses some attention during those 3 days.

Note: The term “2 and a half chicks” refers to the fall back option the farmer has if he were to lose the prime chick. However these fallbacks were stout & hefty and I am sorry for quantifying that.

Crammers

Disclaimer: The word crammer here refers to all academically serious people and doesn’t literally mean book worms or something. However the word is used since it rhymed with the previous one…

December 10th

The crammers though were expected to be the least bothered, were the most offended.

"What is this hakravyuh" asked a geek (confused by the graphic font)

"Its chakravyuh dude" said another student accompanying the geek

“This is stupidity….no! heights of stupidity” said the Geek

“Kyon kya ho gaya” student asked

“The placements are fast approaching and who on earth would do publicity for chakravyuh’10 now……and why is imt obsessed with these teasers” said the geek

Luckily the other student, later, showed the student a certain company’s “We are hiring” teaser and that did calm the storm.

So what the crammers planned to do…

I dare not to put it in an unorganized way so let they be in bullets

· Read ET, Kotler, Sales & subjects of interest with rigor

· Find a way to access the “GOD folder” created by the big brains

· Chakravyuh doesn’t matter, its Pappachan who matters

· To look fresh try sleeping early

· Take tips from seniors, super seniors & alumnus too…..

· Rest of plan tomorrow, feeling sleepy now hit the SAC

PEACE…..Snore

Achievers

Here come the darlings and we do have loads of them, don’t we…

We are not talking about the “Will be Gold medalists” or Wizards or the Gurus out here…

We are discussing Sporting Personalities and the star players over here…

These are the ones who have zoomed to popularity in no time with their sporting talent and have created a brand for themselves in this sports frenzy college…Though critics and crammers may disagree nothing sells in IMT like an intense sporting season and it is these people who matter the most then…

A mistake in any decision by the Achievers may lead to home team’s exit from football or any game in the coveted tournament and talk about redemption - you have one long year to wait for it. So it makes sense when they show sporadic seriousness in many activities during the run up…

December 10th

So a sports enthusiast when coming across an achiever during a post dinner walk, near the amphitheater, thought of asking a question

You cannot ask a stupid question like “Are you playing in Chakravyuh”

However the answer he gets for it does deserve the stupid question. Because the common answer is “See dude I have a fractured thumb/ligament tear/tennis elbow and I might not actually play this time”

Now the enthusiast turns pale at the sad news but sometime later, to his ecstasy, the achiever does play… While some achievers did begin scouting for junior achievers to make a super team, some kept mum post December 10^th..

Some achievers went a step ahead by playing sports that they generally do not otherwise to reflect the feel chill attitude… errrrrr “How many eyeballs watching”

J

Epilogue

I can’t help writing these epilogues… If any one finds similarities of above mentioned examples to certain events; Trust me its purely coincidental. If you are wanting to ask me which category I fit into I will say put me in ‘Losers’ for writing stupid blogs like these J…but then don’t call me loser coz I may assume you have read the blog.