TO ERR IS HUMAN & TO LOVE IS A PROBABLE ERR

How sweet those moments were

It was the day when i came down to your house. Surprisingly your mom n dad weren’t there. I started reading books at your home with an alibi that I was waiting for your brother but I knew that you were aware of the purpose i was there. I looked at you relentlessly but you were so immersed in looking outside that you left me disappointed.

I was trying to peep at you and make a regular sound, but you were motionless. My body was growing cold with the cool breeze that flew across and your long blackish brown hair just shuffled over your chin because of the breeze, making me feel irresistible to you. When you just pulled it back from your rosy chin and ears which had faint streaks of hair it just killed me. Your white dress made you look like an angel. Your eyes were like pomegranates that have freshly taken birth. Your lips were as red as a red rose. When you walked, it created an angel path for me, when you gave me an occasional look I felt like I had been blessed with god’s best wishes. When you giggled each time it made me feel that I was growing closer to you. And when you yawned and stretched I felt sleazy; for your ignorance of a stranger.

What are you telling me, Don’t you mind doing things that you are not supposed to in front of a stranger or have you chosen me to be your man. I rush through a labyrinthine thought process. All of a sudden when you ask me “coffee or tea”, I out of confusion just utter coffee and see you smiling again. I wish that those moments were stretched to eternity and stored in my hard disk forever. I keep seeing you though I don’t own you; you keep giving me an occasional look and smile. When you keep doing that, my heart pounds like a battering ram and it keeps pushing me towards making you my Juliet.

I finally make a decision that I would do it today. I slowly gather strength and courage to propose to you. I pick up the rose that I had hidden secretly and start advancing towards you. When you hear my foot steps and turn back in surprise I just close my eyes to offer you the rose and tell you

“ I love you more than what a mother does to its offspring, more than what a Swallow does to a flower, more than what a man does to his life”

Would you be my princess and accept me to serve your life as your better half. Then I turn back for your ultimate reply. You come after an eternal minute, then place your hand on my hand and smile at me tauntingly. With that a rush of warmth fills my blood, I go mad with joy and ecstasy and not able to control my 4 year love, I start sobbing”

All of a sudden I woke up to the reality to find my watch showing Morning 8:00, February 14^th. Its 20 years since that day passed in my life. As I start brushing my teeth blood flows as the toothbrush strikes hard in my jaws. But tears flow through my eyes for what I faced that day even today. I still remember how you shouted at me when I proposed you that day. You did not like me, but more than that you had no right to punish me. You chose to vilify me and tell my parents that I created a problem for you at the college which I never did. The bell rang as the maid had come and I wiped my eyes with a towel. As I start going to my office in my car I remember how my parents kept crying for their son’s conduct. How they felt insulted when your parents came to my home to fight for the cause. And after that how I would become a laughing stock in my college days. I remember each time when you passed across me which created a murdering shiver and insult. That day when I unfortunately ran across you which was by pure mistake you made a mess out of it and complained to the principal. I still know how I was made to take off my shirt and walk while kneeling in those corridors. When my parents heard that, they could take it no more. The worst they stopped believing me.

I ran away from my house for the biggest insult of my life. I did not want my parents to own their son’s misdoings. Suddenly the traffic signal turned red. I reach my office and have just finished a meeting. My secretary says that she wants a half day leave with a wild smile because its 14th. I let her go. Again I remember the day when I chose to leave that locality since no body believed me. I left my home, my place and my IDENTITY.

After 20 years I still find it difficult to spend a lonely life abandoned by my home, abandoned by self. I still don’t dare to speak to a girl looking into her eyes, people take me for granted thinking that I belong to some anachronistic times. It’s a lonely life with no family of my own and I am already 42 today. And each time I see this date, I ask myself “Did I deserve this”

Just then I see a greeting which carries the words

“Happy Valentines Day”

And I laugh in my solitude, waiting for the next day to arrive...

“Not every one is lucky and not every one is necessarily brave. Let god chose to partner such hapless”

One truth at a time please...

If at all you like this I must give some credit to my friend Pavan from whom I borrowed few ideas

The other day I was thinking- Why is it that I am feeling ownership of my senses- Can you just imagine-Why are we feeling ownership of a soul that is occupying a human body? Lets think- Why we should have got this sense when we were in this body and why we did not get the same sense since its birth where as after a certain period of time. There is no way I am going to agree that it is all science with our brain being the "master piece". No! There is life not only within my body but also in my soul, but “where had it been before I took birth”; Was it in someone else's body- then why did it forget its history. Or does it follow a progression that as time progresses our IQ and EQ increase. Knowledge is also energy, where does it go when my soul leaves my body. Does it collapse? These are few things which i could not percieve till today.

Leaving these questions, what is truth, what is good and what is God. Everything is subjective and relative. If light is the truth then darkness can we rule it as false. Same goes with everything- What some may perceive as truth may be false to some one else. They say the Universe was born out of a very energetic tiny spot that has been expanding and expanding. If a part of magnet can repel the other part, Then a part of that tiny spot may also have an impact on some other. I believe that everything is cancelled out in this world. The end equation may have infinite constraints and parameters but the result is “0”. Light/Darkness, Thrust/Gravity, action/reaction I believe P (Event) is a superset of two variables which are {Cause, Effect}. The sum of probabilities of both cause and effect is “1”. P (cause) need not be 0.5 it can be 0.99 or .000001. This defines the irregular cycles in life. I believe that If we are doing some thing in this life there is a certain cause tied to it, we all are governed by a cause. When the cause expires the effect is “1” we die.

I also feel that there is a certain truth in this world on whose realization we get promoted to the next dimension. Then why do these goals and aspirations exist, is it to delay the process of super promotion. May be then they are not exactly our goals.

Within so much confusion can we know what “truth” is? Well there is one truth which flashes regularly like a nature’s law acting on us which is “MATING” Yes it is a truth, Think over. God neither taught that to us nor did he to a street dog.

Democracy and Secularism

There is a quote that” Democracy and Secularism are so ideal to adopt that the nations which adopt them lose their limbs”. The other day I read in a passage that democracy has become an authoritarian field; True, most of the times, it is the power of people who are in majority. If there is an issue where people are expected to present their views, we are giving the voting right to people who do not know an iota of the issue. As many are not socially enlightened they tend to believe temporary promises and just in time schemes, we ourselves don't know which government had led to our development but in the process had we adopted a policy of limited democracy where people who passed a minimal education qualification were only given an opportunity to vote obviously the local development and local factors would have come to fore. Sadly what happens in our country is that the masses are given a luxurious treatment for a day or two, the most common publicity practice. While the enlightened know that the candidate will be a bane on the society, they just cannot avoid him due to the voting right given to illiterate masses. Now this has been a curse on us. I feel we should practice limited democracy. People who are against limited democracy must already know that we are practicing limited democracy. Are you identified as a voter in INDIA; even if you are could you vote. These are the questions we need to ask. Had there been any transparency regarding the electoral rolls till today? While democracy is a boon, if it is handled by wrong hands it can prove lethal and that is why India is suffering today. While no one knows if Nitish Kumar is good or bad it took Bihar around 12 years to give another man a chance. Friends think "Was democracy really good for India?” . While you would show the other example as US please understand that the US was colonized by the very rich and affluent European rulers and dwellers due to which their social conscious was high since the beginning. I am not against voting right being given to the illiterate or the masses but if they have to been given let the system ensure that the campaigning methods are not provocative. Till then none of us cannot prevent a local goon from becoming an Member of Pariament.
Secularism, It should be considered a practice where all the religions, sects, castes are treated equally. In India we have multiple religions but where is the secularism. In one religion we see people reaping benefits out off the other religions poor populous and trying to take its advantage by preaching theirs. Once they have been converted to their religion these are again kept at a certain distance as they did not belong to a high class. The other religion has its progeny multiplying quickly and any new rule against them could sensitize issues and throw the governments out of power. They are continuously under suspicion and had never found it easy to get a rented accommodation in a good locality due to which they started living in their own ghettos and areas. This could never improve their outlook but of course had created traitors. The third is the worst hit with castes so much that there is an opportunity with every new caste for a political party. It is so simple to kill people of certain section and then pretending to umbrella them to win their votes. While we see a certain political party demolishing a mosque, we see another government helplessly protecting its sacred shrine Tirumala saying that religious conversions within two km radius of the shrine is a social offence. Irony is that the chief minister of the same state is a Christian. To add to it the recent OBC reservations everything in our country has provided an opportunity to the politicians who have raped both these qualities in our country. To give an example when I was at Jammu , everybody whom I met told me that all these attacks are carried by politicians in Kashmir and not by the terrorists. Here is a state that has no faith in government or its protection neither is it in our country. These days if you are traveling in Delhi metro you will find that everyone is looking at each others briefcases in suspicion, who knows when the briefcase would explode.

HAIL DEMOCRACY AND SECULARISM